Jason, it could have been just me. The editors liked it, which is all that really matters.

Anyway, keep writing and thanks for taking the time to comment.

I still do review, but for an ezine named Diabolical Plots.

http://www.diabolicalplots.com/

May there be many more successes in your future!

Frank

“Alex’s mouth spread into a wider smile, which was commonplace on the faces of other children….” (He seldom has reason to smile)
“…as he stored everything he was feeling at the moment into his memory banks.” (Hope is not a feeling he is accustomed to)
“…never crying, and never looking his direction.” (other children don’t come to the playground to cry and they tend to avoid him)
“…grant him the respect of adults, and allow him the freedom to express himself without the fear of repercussion.” (he wants to be able to speak with to his parents without suffering abuse)
“The circular, flat rock felt good against the tender skin around his eye…” (tenderness was suppose to infer pain, but I do see the ambiguity here)

Looking at this piece again after a year I suppose I could have been less subtle with the hints. At the time I was scared of giving too much away, but I see I could afford to be a little more bold.

I just wanted it to be known that I did attempt to pepper hints throughout the story. Obviously it did not work, or maybe worked to well. Either way, thank you for your criticism and taking the time to read it.

Sincerely,
Jason Dempsey

Shauna Roberts

This was the first time I read Ray Gun. I found it enjoyable